2/10/12 Easy Run

4.9 Miles
35:50

Easy run around the neighborhood...nothing too spectacular. Just nice in the cool night air. Getting ready to run just a little further tomorrow...trying to push it to 7 miles, or at least closer to an hour than last week.

2/8/12 - 6 Mile Run

6 Miles
44:45

I looped the neighborhood and took it easy on a nice, cool, breezy evening. I had to take a 3-4 minute break at 18:30 into the run. Tight soleus, or soleous...whatever it is...the muscle just below your calf. Anyway, my right one was tight, so I stopped, stretched, rubbed and shook it out.

After a couple of minutes, I started back up easy and made the rest of the run without incident. I actually felt better at the end of my run than I did for the 5 minutes before stopping for the tight calf.

Some stretching and a little light upperbody work at the end, and I was good to go. Nice run.

2/6/12 - Short, easy Run

Just an unexpectedly short run last night, as I was asked to take my daughter to her team practice, so I couldn't stay out too long. Did 15 minutes, but something is better than nothing, right? That's my thought, anyway. So, just over 2.25 miles covered last night, but again...something is better than nothing.

No running tonight, as it's daughter study night. Back at it on Wednesday.

New Goal

I've set a new goal for myself for this year...was not on the original radar when the year began, but I think I have been "convinced" now to approach it.

So a new goal has been set, and it's amazing to me how much different it felt the moment I put it out there. Suddenly, running had a purpose again...one beyond "getting in shape", but rather advancing towards something again.

It truly was a beautiful thing.

45 minutes Friday.
35 minutes Saturday.
30 minutes Sunday.

Anxiously anticipating getting up to running an hour a day...but, baby steps...baby steps.

Slooooow Progress

So plodding along on the roads these days, I have plenty of time to think about where I've been as a runner, where I'm going as a runner, where I've been in life, where I'm at, and where I'm going. I tell ya, life can take some interesting turns, if not unexpected. What's the saying? Life is what happens to you while making other plans. That statement carries so much truth, and I'm reminded of that almost daily.

Running right now is way different. It's like, my body and muscles remember how I used to run, and they are trying to run that way now. My mind is working OVERTIME trying to get my body to slow down so I don't hurt myself. I haven't taken the time to map out my routes, so I really don't have any idea how far I'm running, just how long I've been running.

The other night, I slowed way down and just enjoyed the run, which can be hard to do when you have a lot on your mind. I ended up staying gone so long, my gf got worried because let's be honest...I've been way out of shape (still am). It's been a while since I've been able to run long enough to worry someone that something happened to me. I'm more used to the 3rd degree about why I was out so long, assuming I was up to something I shouldn't have been. It was nice to only have worry in there.

(By the way, her post below really made me smile. She's an awesome lady, and I hope to be an equally good man for her, as long as she will keep me around. :-) )

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On a side note, I feel like I need to say something about this...there is a fellow blogger here in Houston that has taken it as their personal responsibility to verbally attack me and the woman closest to me and my heart as their method of therapy in dealing with the deterioration of our friendship/relationship. Over the last few years, I've become aware of quite a few things that have been said and spread about me among the local running community...some true, some false, some quite amazingly false, and others, I'm really pretty mystified by. Either way, I feel pretty flattered that there was even enough interest in my life, that it seemed to trump their own in a matter that required discussion and rumor spreading. So, for the superficial "fame", thank you. :P

There's also been a highly unanticipated onslaught of harassment directed towards the last 2 women I've attempted to develop a relationship with. This is where it gets disturbing. While I may be hurt at times when someone says things about me, eventually, I get over it. But when the attack becomes focused on ridiculing and cutting down someone I love, well, that's just over the line.

So, why do I bring this up? I'm not sure really. I used to respond a lot differently to "attacks" and "verbal bashing", etc. But the more it happened, the more I realized that it had little to do with me, and more to do with the person delivering the verbal hits. If someone wants to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to knock me down, it's not about knocking me down as much as it's about trying to cover up something they clearly are uncomfortable with about themselves. And making me seem like the slowest, dumbest, most irresponsible, untruthful, selfish, uncaring, untalented, poorest excuse for a man alive is just a method they probably want to use to help themselves feel better. Let's be clear...I'm no saint. I've done some stupid things, ruined opportunities, messed some stuff up, made bad decisions, etc...but I own every one of those decisions, and I place no blame anywhere other than myself.

Unfortunately, in this case, I also blame myself for making the decision to have allowed someone in my life that has become like a disease...and not the kind that goes away with treatment. There was plenty of opportunity to have taken care of this and been rid of it. Perhaps disease isn't the right word. A drug might be more appropriate. It's something I knew wasn't good for me, wasn't right in my life, and wasn't making the quality of my life any better. In fact, it was making it appear better for an instant or two, followed by days, weeks and months of evidence that it was clearly worse. And doing away with it was like dealing with withdrawals. The withdrawals were not wanting to have the fix again, but more in the sense that more pain was caused and inflicted when it was gone than when it was around.

I'm not sure I'm going to post this... I may keep it in drafts...the thing is that I look back over how I handled certain things and how I wish others would as well. I mean, I have gone through heart-break. I have been lied to, I've been cheated on, and been treated badly myself. And what did I do in those situations? I did the things that most of us do when hurt...angry text, drink heavily, etc., etc., But all of that took place over a finite amount of time, and I was done. When it was done, there was no need to bash each other.

In this current, real-time case, I can only wish that she would take the same approach. Say what you have to say TO ME, or ABOUT ME, b!tch about me to your friends, call me all kinds of names to those closest to you, throw darts at my picture, whatever...but for the love of God, name-calling and trying to ridicule my GF, criticizing my commitment to my daughter based on your own twisted perception? That's over the line...that's too far. It saddens me the measures being taken to try to hurt.

I don't know... maybe I'm wrong on this. Perhaps I'm being too small minded, but self-therapy has crossed the line when it goes beyond simply bad-mouthing me and the involvement we once had.

So, again, why type all of this out? There's a lesson here somewhere. I just don't know how to be clear on it.

The lesson is to listen to your heart when it's telling you that someone or something doesn't belong in your life. I should have.

The lesson is to fight fair with someone...if you're angry with someone, keep your focus on where your anger is actually directed. Don't drag others in. Even now, I know others are participating in the Sam-bashing, but I don't really care, because there is only one person involved that I thought was a true-friend. The others...well...not even close, nor worth worrying about their opinions.

The lesson is....I don't know... fill in the blank with yours...

This is what happens.....

When you leave your computer unlocked....you get HACKED!

My lovely boyfriend has been running....he ran for about an hour last night and had me worried sick because he hadn't run more than 30 minutes in 6 months! I thought something had happened so I had loaded the kids up in the car to go look for him when I got the text that he was done and back in his car. WHEW!

What else have we been doing? OH we celebrated a very beautiful girl's 9th birthday last Wednesday. It was a low key celebration....but completly perfect. :)

Anyways---I have nothing to say really other than I'm in love with the most amazing man. I couldn't be happier. I'm proud of him for all he does to make me the happiest girl alive. To me he is the BEST boyfriend, friend, lover, father, worker, runner on the planet. I'm blessed beyond belief.

You have come a long way from the first time I met you love.....I'm proud of the man you were, are and are aspiring to be for our family. I love you baby!

Harder Effort Running

So, last night, I probably did my first bit of "hard effort" running. While my daughter was at soccer practice, I did loops of the park where she practiced...perhaps roughly 3/4 mile? Not sure, honestly. I do know that I looped it 6 times in a little over 33 minutes. Other than that, I'm not real sure.

So, I made 5 loops and just felt like sorta 'dropping the hammer' for the last loop. It was a fun feeling. All I can say is that it took me roughly 6:20 for the first loop, 5:45 for each loop after that, and about 4:50 for the last loop.

Today, I'm definitely feeling it. Not like soreness or pain or anything, but definitely feeling that my legs were working. And man, does that feel good. Hope to do it again soon.

35 More Minutes

So, today would qualify as a "long run", as I hadn't done more than 30 minutes this year. Today, I went for 36 minutes. I had planned on 40 minutes, but cut the run a little short when I'd already gone over 30 minutes. I just took a turn that headed me back to my car, rather than the longer way around. Turned out to be the right decision. Great run. Felt great.

Marathon Support

I gave all I had to give in cheering for and supporting runners through volunteering and cheering over the course of the weekend.

Honestly, I came away from the weekend having been given more than what I gave, by far.

Not much more to say than that. From a running perspective, it was a great, eye-opening weekend.

Later all! More to come.

Olympic Trials Volunteering and Good Running

Today was the Olympic Trials...yes the same ones I (perhaps) foolishly once believed I'd be running. It was an awesome experience being out there, watching the nation's best, and all the Olympic hopefuls. Watching Ryan, Meb, Abdi, Ritz, Desiree, Shalane, Kara and Deena all go running by multiple times, while I was road-guarding at miles 7, 15 and 23 was just an awesome, awesome experience.

The best part was watching NBC's coverage later and seeing all the places that I've done all my best training. Great event, and great memories from the morning out there.

Following was lunch with a buddy of mine, who is running w/his brother tomorrow at the Half Marathon, and seeing another marathoner who will be running tomorrow. So, after all of that, this evening I went for a run and ran roughly half a mile longer than I have been doing my previous runs....and that only added approximately 30 seconds to my over all time. Needless to say, I ran harder than I needed to, and I'll probably be feeling it tomorrow as well.

I did all of this in my new Nike Free's that I purchased today at Luke's Locker. Great feeling shoes, especially since I'm only running 30 minutes at a time these days. Good time to see if I can get adjusted to them while I'm working my way back into shape.

That's all for now. Time to hit the hay and get ready to go out and cheer on all the half and most of the full marathon folks out there, challenging the course that is the Houston Marathon.

Looking forward to a fun day of marathon watching, football watching and hopefully some computer game playing.

Step by Out of Shape Step

Wrapped up the weekend with a morning 30 minute run (actually 29:20 over my otherwise 30 minute course), followed by a nice weight workout. And because it has been since I was 18-19 years old since I worked out consistently, it's taking a little bit of time to find my "groove", but I think I'm finding it...the right weights, the right reps, the right exercises...Today felt like an awesome workout. I walked out of there feeling very good.

I have to get home, take a look at my body just before the shower to remind myself how much I dislike my naked body right now. :P I know...sorry for the gross images burned into your minds, but I'm just sayin'. It was just 18 months ago that I was the lowest weight I'd been as a runner, fit, fast and (while most, if not all, non-runners would say I was too skinny) pretty happy with how I looked. I had gotten all the way down to 147 lbs, and for 5'11"-6'00", that's not too bad. Right now...well... add about 25 lbs to that. YIKES!! What's funny is that most of my non-running friends, think I still look "skinny". Oh well.

I'm not saying I need to get down to 150 or lower to be happy, but I do want to get myself back around 160 lbs. And if I'm there, and I have the fitness that comes along with weight work, even at 36 years old, I hope to feel ok running with no shirt on come Spring and Summer time. Right now, that shirt is staying on, I don't care if I was running in 100 degree weather. :-)

Progress for the Week

Back in the gym again, for some more upper body work and a little more running.

Progress is good this week, and I'm at least feeling like I'm finally headed somewhere again running. It's a good feeling.

Starting the Year Off Right...I think :P

Two 30 minute runs on the 1st and 2nd.

10-minute run on the 3rd, followed by 45 minutes in the weight room...chest, shoulders, arms, abs and back...

Good days.

End of the Year, beginning of another...

In looking back over the last 12 months, with only 3 days left in this year, 2011 is the first calendar year that I have not run a race since my first race in December 2000. Now, it's been well over 12 months since my last race...June 6, 2010 to be specific...but never have I gone from Jan 1st through Dec 31st without running a race since that first race.

What does that mean? Well, in the running world, it's been a roller coaster year...some things have been physical limitations, others have been mental blocks. Either way, it's just been a trying year in the running realm. It's been a life-changing time as well...when I look back at where I was emotionally, physically, socially, etc. at the start of the year compared to where I am now, it's a vivid reminder of how many things happened over the course of 12 months.

I'm just about to complete 3 months of no running... crazy. I mean, I've run maybe 3 times, for a total of 90 minutes of running total over that time period. Other than that little bit of time, I've lived the worst kind of sedentery life...not necessarily being careful of my food intake, not doing much exercise and just not really taking care of my body like I have up to this point. I've gained some weight...most non-runners don't see it, but most of my runner-friends would see it. However, most of them haven't seen me in those 3 months... or even before that.

So, what is coming from 2012? Well, lots of things. There's a new relationship in my life that I'm excited about and has given me hope of things in my future that I no longer thought were options...were possible.

One of the first things that will come along will be the Marathon Olympic Trials here in Houston...something I thought 20 months ago that I'd be participating in. The chances were never great, but looking back at my progress and what I felt that my body could handle in the way of training, I really thought I held a legitimate chance of making. I'd have been way less disappointed if I'd made it to Chicago and made a run in top shape and missed it by 10 or 15 minutes than to have gone out the way I did, never even making it there. As it is, there is a certain level of emptiness inside about how things all happened. There's a lot of "unfinished business" inside. I'm not 100% sure what it all means at this point in the game, but I do know that it still occupies my mind. I will be out there to watch, and I'll be watching the dvr'd race and studying it deeply. It won't be without a certain level of disappointment inside, though. Nonetheless, I'm looking forward to witnessing the two events (ladies and men's races) in person and watching America's best. It will be a sight to see, for sure.

As for my running plans, there are several. First things first, though...I need to get myself back into some semblance of shape and fitness, which includes dropping some serious el-bee's. :P But, there will also be some weight lifting, so weight loss may not happen as it did before. I have a couple of goal races out there, but no goal times in mind as of yet....just races I'd like to do and be in shape for.

All is not 100% right in my world right now... things are great, yes, but some very important things remain out of balance. There are times and actions to take place over the next 30 days that will bring proper order, but for now, dealing with those imbalances poses challenges for sure. But, what is life if there are no challenges?

On that note, I will wrap up this post.

The new year, I have full hope, brings some definite changes to all phases of my life, and those worth sharing, I'll happily share with my few followers here.

Happy New Year all!